The Problem With Liking Things
The problem with liking things is that nothing is safe.
Unfortunately, everything out there to fall in love with has a stigma and a label attached to it. In some areas of the world, especially in the U.S., the stereotypes can be extremely derogatory and unkind. It progresses to the point where mentioning an interest in something automatically classifies you to your listener as a very particular sort of obsessed fanatic, and this scares them away from you.
Why?
Because we don't like extremes. Anything that stands apart from the crowd catches our attention, and if it's just interesting enough for us to notice, nod and appreciate it, then be on our merry way, we accept it. But if it stops traffic, if it is just too abnormal for us to immediately look away, if it is so different and unusual that it makes us uncomfortable, we judge that thing as freakish and frightening. We reject it.
So I come back to my point about liking things.
If you like America, if you like patriotism, if you like a point of view that matches up with a particular conservative presidential candidate, you are automatically classified as an uneducated, heartless, gun-toting slob who sleeps on American flag bedsheets, eats nothing but barbecue, and won't touch anything that doesn't have "Made in 'Merica" stamped on it. You must be a redneck.
If you like yoga or astrology, if you support recreational or medical drug use, if you like to have candles or essential oil diffusers in your room because they soothe you, you are automatically classified as a Boulder nutcase with poor hygiene, radical liberal views, who is constantly smelling of marijuana and running around in fields praising Mother Earth and handing out magic crystals. You must be a hippy.
If you like memes, if you are a constant user of social media, if you watch youtube videos on just about everything, if you scroll through tumblr for hours on end, if you like to snapchat everything (including your meals), if you use hashtags and go to starbucks more often than the average person, if you listen to obscure artists and love drinking tea and reading a book on a rainy day wearing a long cardigan and glasses with no lenses, you are automatically classified as a self-absorbed, superficial, insecure, judgemental wannabe with no real life to speak of and no real friends to talk to who does little but take pictures and point to random objects saying, "Same." You are a hipster.
If you like anime, if you have an appreciation for Asian culture, if you watch cartoons more often than live-action, if you like to have merchandise inspired by your favorite mangas, if you like those little headbands with the cat ears on them, if you like to dress up and go to conventions, you are automatically classified as a perverted weirdo with crazy hair colors who wears tails on a daily basis and listens to nothing but K-pop calling everyone "Baka" and talking in dramatic extremes inspired by Naruto. You are a weeaboo.
(Mind you, in respect to the last one, any American's obsession with British culture, using their slang, wearing their merchandise, and watching BBC constantly is much better received by the masses, simply because it is more in line with American normalcy, reiterating my point about society appreciating slightly-different, but not extreme-different.)
I hate these terms.
I hate that we aren't allowed to like anything without it immediately sparking judgement and ridicule. I hate that "cheerleaders" and "jocks" and "theater kids" and "math geeks" and "gamers" all have this negative stigma around them. NOTHING IS SAFE! Even the "cool" things, like keeping up with sports and hanging up flags of your favorite team or purchasing a bumper sticker of said team will get you rolled eyes and sneering looks.
Why can't we just like the things we like?
And for those people out there who do fit my description of the "extremes", why is that such a bad thing? They like the things they like and they are going to display it.
Now read closely, because here is my point. They don't do it for you.
They don't wear that t-shirt from that obscure video game for you, who has never played it, to judge. They do not use that superhero folder for you to raise an eyebrow at. They do not put on the colored contacts and bright wig for you to shake your head. They do not post that picture of Tuesdays With Morrie on a perfectly filtered background with the caption #myaesthetic for you to scoff at and scroll past.
They do it because they love it. They do it because when they see it, it makes them happy. They do it on the off chance that someone else, a fellow lover of this thing, will see it and appreciate it and just maybe will strike up a conversation.
So maybe next time when you're on the bus and you see someone who stands out just a little too much, displaying that thing they love so much, maybe you'll stop yourself from thinking how weird they must be, and consider that this is what makes them happy, and if it's not affecting you, maybe you should be the one to change, not them.
Maybe this post has done nothing to change your mind. Maybe you'll write me off as a social justice vigilante trying to justify my obsession for... well, I have an obsession for a lot of things and this post is already too long.
But hopefully, I've helped you think a little bit. Hopefully, you'll take some extra time to open your mind as you go about your life, interacting with people with all different kinds of likes and interests, even if it's just a little.
Maybe then the things that we like could be safe someday.
Why?
Because we don't like extremes. Anything that stands apart from the crowd catches our attention, and if it's just interesting enough for us to notice, nod and appreciate it, then be on our merry way, we accept it. But if it stops traffic, if it is just too abnormal for us to immediately look away, if it is so different and unusual that it makes us uncomfortable, we judge that thing as freakish and frightening. We reject it.
So I come back to my point about liking things.
If you like America, if you like patriotism, if you like a point of view that matches up with a particular conservative presidential candidate, you are automatically classified as an uneducated, heartless, gun-toting slob who sleeps on American flag bedsheets, eats nothing but barbecue, and won't touch anything that doesn't have "Made in 'Merica" stamped on it. You must be a redneck.
If you like yoga or astrology, if you support recreational or medical drug use, if you like to have candles or essential oil diffusers in your room because they soothe you, you are automatically classified as a Boulder nutcase with poor hygiene, radical liberal views, who is constantly smelling of marijuana and running around in fields praising Mother Earth and handing out magic crystals. You must be a hippy.
If you like memes, if you are a constant user of social media, if you watch youtube videos on just about everything, if you scroll through tumblr for hours on end, if you like to snapchat everything (including your meals), if you use hashtags and go to starbucks more often than the average person, if you listen to obscure artists and love drinking tea and reading a book on a rainy day wearing a long cardigan and glasses with no lenses, you are automatically classified as a self-absorbed, superficial, insecure, judgemental wannabe with no real life to speak of and no real friends to talk to who does little but take pictures and point to random objects saying, "Same." You are a hipster.
If you like anime, if you have an appreciation for Asian culture, if you watch cartoons more often than live-action, if you like to have merchandise inspired by your favorite mangas, if you like those little headbands with the cat ears on them, if you like to dress up and go to conventions, you are automatically classified as a perverted weirdo with crazy hair colors who wears tails on a daily basis and listens to nothing but K-pop calling everyone "Baka" and talking in dramatic extremes inspired by Naruto. You are a weeaboo.
(Mind you, in respect to the last one, any American's obsession with British culture, using their slang, wearing their merchandise, and watching BBC constantly is much better received by the masses, simply because it is more in line with American normalcy, reiterating my point about society appreciating slightly-different, but not extreme-different.)
I hate these terms.
I hate that we aren't allowed to like anything without it immediately sparking judgement and ridicule. I hate that "cheerleaders" and "jocks" and "theater kids" and "math geeks" and "gamers" all have this negative stigma around them. NOTHING IS SAFE! Even the "cool" things, like keeping up with sports and hanging up flags of your favorite team or purchasing a bumper sticker of said team will get you rolled eyes and sneering looks.
Why can't we just like the things we like?
And for those people out there who do fit my description of the "extremes", why is that such a bad thing? They like the things they like and they are going to display it.
Now read closely, because here is my point. They don't do it for you.
They don't wear that t-shirt from that obscure video game for you, who has never played it, to judge. They do not use that superhero folder for you to raise an eyebrow at. They do not put on the colored contacts and bright wig for you to shake your head. They do not post that picture of Tuesdays With Morrie on a perfectly filtered background with the caption #myaesthetic for you to scoff at and scroll past.
They do it because they love it. They do it because when they see it, it makes them happy. They do it on the off chance that someone else, a fellow lover of this thing, will see it and appreciate it and just maybe will strike up a conversation.
So maybe next time when you're on the bus and you see someone who stands out just a little too much, displaying that thing they love so much, maybe you'll stop yourself from thinking how weird they must be, and consider that this is what makes them happy, and if it's not affecting you, maybe you should be the one to change, not them.
Maybe this post has done nothing to change your mind. Maybe you'll write me off as a social justice vigilante trying to justify my obsession for... well, I have an obsession for a lot of things and this post is already too long.
Maybe then the things that we like could be safe someday.
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